departing for the arrival

Last days in Egypt. I feel the pressure to experience it all one last time, but I can't pull myself out of bed until at least noon. It seems fitting, the moon brings out all the action anyway and so I continue to live as I have. It's the ordinary days I want to remember, anyway. I take the visitors to various locations, or perhaps I bring them along as I myself revisit some of the defining spots of this life I have lived. I try to taste it all, and share a bit with my friends. It's what I've learned, the collective enjoyment and happiness possible when you set out to as a whole... let the little stuff slip by, we're in this together.

Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

Last day. Hungover. As hell. I've officially parted ways with many, all's left is the core.. and a splitting headache. Three pm and I crawl out of bed; packing must begin. Each memory finds its place in the bag, or the suitcase, or the other bag. Little is left to regret, I never made it south, but I never sacrificed a friend. And that's what it's all been about, focus on the friends I said. Only a few more hours and the friendships go virtual, but I don't seem to mind. We have our place with each other and will remain united until we cross paths again. The hangover and exhaustion leave little space for other emotions. I don't eat until 10pm, right before I ride my last ride. The Party Bus turns into a Party Boat and again into a faluka. I should have known, Ryan did. One last time, for the homies.

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

So many questions of if and when. Yes, I'll come back. Of when, I do not know. It is difficult to return when so much remains unexplored. I've said that before, but never had to say it to friends. Maybe this will be different. If I return, it is not to a foreign land, but to an almost family, a group, a quadrant but more than four, to the guys. A part of me is there now and a part of them is here now. The seeds were planted, it is up to us to flourish. Times past enjoyed up the ante of the goodbye. We felt. And Now we feel.

People come, people go
Some grow young, some grow cold
I woke up in between
A memory and a dream

Airport. As they say, the buck stops here. The preceding hours were as Egyptian as it gets. Faluka, drama, car race to the airport. I wish for a seatbelt, not a common feeling. I just want to watch the lights go by and let it all settle, but this is also fitting. So emotional, it can be good or it can be bad. The race helps us make up time lost during the second good-byes. Steve comments on the quality of the competition. The mood lightens. We arrive, but not to the Arrivals Hall. This time it's different.The final good bye. These might be the easiest. I know who I'll see again, and they're all in front of me. One last embrace. Hold the tears, pussies.

So let's get to the point, let's roll another joint
Let's head on down the road
There's somewhere I gotta go
And you don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

The process remains Egyptian. I wait in line 20 minutes to get my ticket. There are 2 people in front of me. Apparantly it takes the entire staff to make a few decision. I bore quickly. The cashier in the duty free can't work the cash register. It takes 10 minutes to buy shisha. I'm the only one in the store. At last I find humor in it, might as well do it once. The plane glides down the runway, not before I sneak one last picture on soil. Exhausted, I sink into my chair and enter a different state of mind. I no longer remember the flight. Thoughts remain on times had and when new times will be. Damn it sucks to leave, but this is the territory.

My old man was born to rock
He's still tryin' to beat the clock
Think of me what you will
I've got a little space to fill

Prague. I can't go home yet, need something distant from the departure, but not yet at the arrival. I copy down my closure to the chapter. My hosts quiz me on my time there; my ears listen just as intently as there's while the answers flow out. I don't know how I've changed yet. I haven't yet returned to that which I will gauge myself against. Understanding a culture is a tremendous task, and even the simple answers require many backdrops. I can't seem to give satisfactory answers. Don't be so hard on yourself, sport. Help them relate and identify, make it easy to understand. Ready to return home? Almost. Let me try this beer first. The shisha is a big hit, works too well for the first run. I run into a groovy duck, and several groovy souls. The conversations are rich, exactly what I needed. The time comes, it's time to go.

So let's get to the point, let's roll another joint
And let's head on down the road
There's somewhere I got to go
And you don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels
No, you don't know how it feels to be me

You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels
No, you don't know how it feels to be me

Home. Now it begins. Here we go.