3 tenses

Rain pours down from clouds, but the words fail to flow out of your weaving thoughts...

Thanks for the well wishes. He had a good run, and that's all we can ask for. RIP:




He was your Elvis, and when your Elvis dies, so does the private lie that someday you will be young once again. (Thanks Tom.)

Story Challenge

A very small bottle with a very tight lid, full of carbonated fluid rolled down a mountain into a working washing machine...

I think it would be fun to do a story chain. Write a story where 3 - 5 writers contribute 3 paragraphs each, one after the other. Cycle 5 times through the writers. See how the story unfolds. Crowd (or author) vote afterward for best contributor.

Who's in?

Bonus link: Broom Game

As you're abroad

Part of going abroad is going somewhere no one (no one!) else will understand... and then coming back.

What is happening right now is you're building a set of experiences, some of which only a few others will share and understand, most of which will be yours and yours only. And it is probably those that will have the most lasting effect on you.

Then you go back to what some people will call reality. And I'll tell you, coming back is far more difficult than going and being.

I'm still here in spirit, thinking about you every day. I'll be all here soon, as I come back.

An Ending

Wads of mud exploded up like those frogs out of the dynamite pond. It was time to party; the shifting shafts of light told us so. Generations together at the shore, a sea of life parted before us. We raised our hands to the sky and danced as the music rained down.

It was a lovely view of heaven...

Of Intersections and Hustle, both Philosophical and Urgent in Nature

Greetings Revolutionaries,

Last time I penned a letter like this I was sitting in a small apartment in Malaysia during Thaipusam , listening to a 1981 Grateful Dead concert and sipping a much too large coke flavored with black market and very scary rum. 

This time is a little different. This day, amber waves of Tom Petty dance and weave around me a blanket to block out the cold Wisconsin air on a night not 24 hours after my closest cousin's birthday. Cold and Delicious Milk sits comfortably within reach, arousing and alluring the taste buds.

I no longer have many friends here in Fond du Lac, so reprieves to this place often entail a great deal of reflective thought. Fortunately or unfortunately you get to bear the fruits of this silent and self indulgent labor, but I believe by sharing it we can all reach a place of better understanding and perhaps unknowing but mutual respect.

In the past 6 months I chaired 2 ROKS conferences. What you learn when you exit AIESEC is it is unique not in its mission or model, but in its human nature. It provides a special existence where you join others in throwing vast amounts of energy at a problem you may not fully understand (I didn't--and still don't), but you do it because you believe that some way and some how you can make a worthwhile change maybe not for yourself but definitely for others. And you go it not alone; you're joined by others just as crazed, deranged, and foolish as you are who just can't quite seem to find the limits to their effort and emotional depths.

That's why I chaired these conferences - to immerse myself back in that pool of passion and blinding energy. 

What you'll find, woe as it may be, is that this is quite hard to find outside of AIESEC. Somehow, it's different, even if you're in a non profit or mission driven organization. The relationships that seemed so natural in AIESEC don't come quite as easily in these other places. That true fabric guiding those around you becomes harder to find, more deeply guarded and hidden.

And so, what I found happening over the past year or so is that slowly my internal flame, the same one that burned bright with ideas and absolute rejection of the status quo, slowly began to fade. I stopped back flipping out of bed ready to stick it to the man. My heels dragged a little, then a little more

But.

On Sunday, February 22nd, I wrapped up the North East Beast ROKS conference, once again a little lighter on the feet and with a more inspired flame. It was just like last time, only I hoped this time it wouldn't fade out.

And it didn't.

About 5 hours after we left the conference I got a text message telling me a market in Cairo, Egypt had been bombed. My beloved Egypt.

Khan el Khalili, the market I'd spent countless hours in drinking tea, ripping down shisha, discovering the endless kindness of my Egyptian peers, and haggling with those A-hole merchants, had been bombed again. It didn't--and still doesn't--seem fair. 

My mental gears began to turn.

If I don't evangelize Egypt, who will? If someone like me, packed with numerous incredible Egyptian experiences, doesn't stand up and be counted, how do I expect others to answer the call? How do I expect not to fall into the abyssal masses of stone faced, half-baked shapeless drifters?

I realized I was at an intersection of good news and bad news. I realized the intersection between good news and bad news is a human. I realized the intersection between good news and bad news is me, and you. I had to make a choice.

Will I let the evil few shroud the good many in shadows? Or will I stand and outshine? 

So here's my promise. It's to you and to myself.

From here on out I hustle. I hustle for Egypt. I hustle for my Egyptian NGO support idea, the one I've been sitting on for 14 months, and make it a reality by this Fall. I hustle to relight that fire under my ass so I can back flip out of bed in the morning, and crumble down at night thinking WHAT A RIDE, grinning 100% of the damn time.

Then I hustle for more.

And I hope you'll hustle with me.

The Prime Time for AIESEC exchange is approaching soon and I hope you'll play a part, whether going abroad yourself (the best way) or making it happen for someone else. Regardless of your team, you can throw your hat in the exchange ring and make shit happen. 

It's now or never baby. The time for talk of "potential" has ended. It's time to act, to drop the dime, to shoot the fish, to let it rain, to realize.

Sit at the computer.

Pick a country.

Bring the hammer down.

And click APPLY.

Then lean over and help that beautiful baby next to you.

Make a change. I'll be here in my corner of the world watching, and making a change of my own. 

It won't be easy, but we can do it. We need to. We were born to. 

Thanks for lighting the fire.

Even more crazy, deranged and foolish than before,

Mix Master

Thoughts worth pondering, questions worth answering

AIESEC Life?

New York

It's the place you come to either live or die, or both, depending on your propensity for self destructive pursuits and imaginative leaps.

You walk down the street seeking refuge in the faces, brick walls really, and falsly fortified, reasons to righteously declare yourself the only one who hasn't quite found it yet; the idea, the break, the girl, the bar. You carry on, smug and safe in the deception, to the next grand meeting where it's all bound to go down.

The next drink you talk about this place as if it is sentient, the host of some party who soon enough will extend you the big Invite, at which point you'll have made it; reason to magically move from some raggity, shadowy corner to the center stage of some cluster fuck complete with spot light, glitz, and glamor.

I am an AIESECer

If you didn't see my apartment in Malaysia, Nika in the video below is talking from it. In one shot, you can actually see the patio to the sweet pad.



I kind of like this campaign, though I think it might be too AIESEC-centric, rather than portraying it as the facilitator and catalyst I believe it actually is. Either way, good stuff. Here's the philosophy behind it.

The road was Ahead, but now we're There

The November victory was a unique moment for me, the first time I actively invested emotion in the election outcomes and won. 

But that night was about victory, about cashing in that time and emotion spent on the process. I enjoyed that feeling and hope more moments like it come. But victory is not what our nation and world most direly need right now.

Our nation and world need effort, thought, commitment and action. 

And that's what the inauguration was about for me. Suddenly, There is Here. Our agreement that OK, now it's time to take action.

We're right this moment embarking down the road towards a rebirth of shared prosperity, a new perspective towards communal understanding and embrace, and renewed togetherness here and abroad.

The celebration is over. Now it is up to us, those of us under the nation the world still looks up to, to put our heads together and immediately begin taking action. We all have a part to play, and only we, the People, can determine how quickly and effectively we travel this road.

Frogs and Dynamite

As the scenery changes, you can only hope the eyes do not. 

SHOWTIME

Ask about my time in Egypt and Malaysia and you will get two very different tones and levels of enthusiasm.

Egypt inspires by far the more animated, energetic of the two responses.

Why it is this way has continuously evaded me until only recently, like maybe yesterday. 

Egypt was about the present: Now. Here. Today. I could feel myself changing every day, my mind opening further and further to discover a world I'd never anticipated loving. My flight out marked the end of that experience. No more roadside tea with Osama, Haitham, Ahmed, and Kareem. No more philosophical quarterbacking from the porch with Augusto. 

I had learned all I could, and when that plane landed, my mission began. The world would love the true Egypt before I died.

Malaysia, I've discovered was decidedly not about the present. It was not about affecting me Today. It was about affecting me Tomorrow.

It should not have taken me so long to realize this.

I replanted in Malaysia with the lone intention of ingesting as much marketing and entrepreneurial knowledge as possible, and then some. And I did, along the way also learning deeply about myself and my own personal reflective abilities through conversations with Khailee and Janne.

This is significantly different from my cultural and relational goals of Egypt, which bestowed much more immediate effects.

Malaysia was as close to a year of Zen as I've had yet. It wasn't about in-your-face culture, loud streets, or my first Iftar. Malaysia was about a stoic pursuit of performing better today then yesterday, of analyzing and incrementally improving my decision-making abilities, and taking detailed control of my own role in all aspects my life.

The true effects of Malaysia, then, couldn't be measured until long after that always-taxing final departure flight, when I achieve the personal development and professional goals I focused down on and now have set out to realize. 

But what I will know then, as I know now, is that Malaysia is where it all started.

These kernels of realization have settled a once great mental churning I've endured since returning, and I am now able to begin contextualizing the experience within my life in a meaningful way.

Egypt was a stage of clear and tangible mental progression. Malaysia was a stage of calm and focused mental training, of slowing down before speeding up through the chosen path before me.

Tomorrow I move to the east coast of the United States. The Mountain looms high and the roads perilous, but my smile is wide and my blades are sharp. Jersey City Navidad!

Yes We Can

Several years back, when the presidential candidates were still simply potentials, I had said John McCain was the type of guy who'd make me consider going Republican. There is a lot I don't agree with, but there was enough there that a really crazy Democrat could push me to go red.

That was a piece of the reason that this was the 1st election where I really looked at both candidates and asked myself who I wanted to follow. But as the election wore on, I saw what I can only describe as a man destroyed by his own core people and operatives.

After seeing his speech tonight, I have to ask, where was that honor and personal integrity during the crucial election time? Where was the honesty and willingness to stand up for values, even to your own followers? 

I eventually decided Obama was the man for me, but I can't help but wonder where We as a People would be had McCain lead a far less damaging and divisive campaign. Had he ran his campaign the way he concluded it, I believe we'd have an even greater hope to celebrate tonight. It would have been a much more honorable defeat.

But Hope won today, rather than fear, misdirection, and secrecy. Today we move forward, and I can say I have never done so with so much sincere belief and inspiration for what is to come from American politics and the American People in the years ahead.

My friends, foes, and fellow people: Let's do this right, and let's do this together.

Dreams worth reliving

For reasons not completely known, my AIESEC participation in Malaysia was minimal, consisting of one 15 minute speech at an LC's new member conference. The only reason I went was because my roommate woke me up, figured out how to get there, and made sure we didn't have to stay the whole time.

This was a step in a different direction than my normal path would have dictated. I never completely stepped back, but I never stepped forward, either, even while close friends were doing just that. When I thought about stepping forward, I thought about it in terms of working with him, not in terms of changing lives. Thus, the motivation was also different.

There are only mild pangs of regret.

Now, in this next stage of existence, where I'm an entrepreneur focused on a dream and (officially, finally) an alumni, I am consciously stepping forward once again. 

And again, I look to my past, though this time I see I'm acting with consistency, and basing my operations outside of traditional, structured roles. 

Over the course of my AIESEC experience, I only held one long term position. Otherwise I jumped around short term, project-based positions that often existed outside the "traditional" structure of the organization. 

And that brings me to the present day. Instead of a sustained, paid position (which I recently and deliberately passed on pursuing), I've taken the temporary, fairly loose role of co-chair of ROKS this semester. 

Perhaps this is the opening paragraph to the "definition" I was looking for in how AIESEC would fit into my life. 

I have never liked the pigeon holes of execution that often come with positions of power, so aspirations of Board, steering team, and similar participation were perhaps the wrong trees to mentally bark up all along. 

Producing and scheming your own projects requires a certain self-initiation, which in turn begets chaos, but this was always my chosen battlefield. And thinking about it, ROKS is one big steaming pile of organizational, mental, and personal self-reflective chaos.

Which is a good thing.

Because it is best done amidst the chaos, I think, that you pull someone aside, give them an eye in that storm every member endures, and totally fucking blow their mind.

Why we travel

On the eve, I feel what was reality begin slipping into memory, where it shall reside until the end of infinitum. Stumbling out of bed, exhausted from racing thoughts, I wonder, why wander?

Somewhere, somehow, for some reason; we travel.

We seek the awe of monuments from ages past, and bask in the hustle, bustle, and hope of the cities of tomorrow. As we discover the size of the world at large, we realize the sanctity of the tiny place we call home. And when we're lucky we ingest the wisdom of the seasoned, and reflect the playful glee of the young.

We search for those single fleeting moments when hearts connect, and then realize we'll remember it forever. We travel to gaze the vast open sea, looking out and asking, what, exactly, is the key to unlocking the confines of a closed mind?

Sometimes we go seeking the Truth of it all, to "see it ourselves," only to realize how many of our own lies we brought along. So we carry on, our bags light but our loads heavy in responsibility; armed yourself with a pen, can you really disarm another?

The short term relationship ends with the long distance train, just as the bright golden rays arrive to illuminate the gloom of departure. Had we not just found ourselves lost in the rain?

Together we left, but separately we continue on. Million-dollar smiles greet you from poverty-stricken curbs, unknown strangers sharing knowing nods; we can do this. You went to inspire, but it all comes back with you.

This Song is over. The party's dead. Let's go to the Hills.

Thailand Navidad!

3 things

If I were at the helm, I would be spending most of my time investigating how to be more different, nor more similar to everything else out there. Re-Find what it is I'd want to stand for, and stand for it.

The next order of business would be eliminating the stunningly slow motion, "my bare hands are stiff from 6 hours in the snow way" that it operates. It is not an 8000 pound elephant, so don't act like one.

Sure, easier said than done.

And lastly, the idea and entire organization as a whole is a distributed network of hubs. No reason you can't create a distributed network of evangelists to push the growth forward. At its heart, this is a human to human, one by one organization. I think that was temporarily forgotten.

Let's not forget it again. In fact, let's embrace it.

A 30 day departure

I saw Janne off to the express train a few hours ago, reveling in that rare delight of knowing you just parted ways with an extraordinary human.

With his departure, only 2/3 of the Achievers Club remains. Though it remains unclear when our next always-revolutionary conversation will unfold, considerations and musings from past mutual meditations should hold my mind for quite some time.

But I will still miss it.

My generation of comrades here have begun relocating, and good-byes yet remain. I've begun what I hope will emulate the slow jam in The Wheel, from which I insha'allah will seamlessly transition into a total rock-out of a 6 week Pan-Asian jam session.

The more I've learned here, the more I've had to admit I don't know. I worry not about leaving. I worry about arriving.

For the future, when it is a lot less clear

In the end, people aren't looking for money.

They're looking for dreams, Dreams, ideas, and people to believe in. And believing; that's what people want to do, in the end.


IMG_1498 by Mix Master on Zooomr

A Does of Dojo

You leave for 2 weeks and suddenly it's a big ass party again. A reminder that it is still worth it:

I told Roxanne to come to me and I put her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. I pressed my cheek to hers and could feel her tears running down. In that moment I was no longer myself, and she was no longer Roxanne. We were much more than that. In my mind she represented all the little kids I had seen in the villages: starving, abused, ignored, left behind. And by holding her tight I felt like I was holding all of those little boys and girls. In my head if I held them tight enough to harm would befall them ever again. They would all be loved and cared for. I held her so tight I was surprised she didn't say anything to me. But I wasn't exactly aware of what was going on either. I was thinking back, remembering all the faces, the little innocent faces staring up at me. Images that will be burned in my mind forever. (meenazia)

I haven't yet decided if I'll chime in, but I've been thinking a lot about how I'd handle such a turn of events as well as what the most key points of the conversation are. At this juncture, I think the "point" of the conversation is off-base, but I would think that.

I'm off to Sarawak for the Rainforest Music Festival to jive my media-pass way into posting off-base and uninformed TNPH 1, 2, 2.1, & 3.0 inspired trickery.

For now, check out Arcadiy's pretty valid points (read Nisha first). He touches on some things I've been thinking about.

(I think this is the first combined Dream + anti-Dream post ever.)

The transition from taking to giving

It's a fascinating trend for me, and one I've seen, then battled, and then seen some more.

When you enter an organization, you're fresh meat with raw, hopefully pure potential. To get to a position of influence and notoriety (and performance), the organization and the individuals in the organization must invest in you.

You take a lot, because you don't have much to give... yet. "Taking" is in your job description; "giving" isn't there just yet.

They give the time, they share "that conversation" one more god damn time, they listen to the same concerns they heard last week/semester/year from some other carbon copy hopeful.

But they do it, because you aren't "there" yet, and all that is required for you to get "there." You don't yet have the capability to venture into the wild on your own, much less lead a band out there. They need to give you that ability, and you need to take it.

But then, you "get there." (note: not everyone does)

It usually happens after your first real journey out there, your first attempt to Live the values and act out the dreams you've been chasing and probably contributing to.

So you're There. Now what?

It's a plateau of sorts, because where do you go from There? The path is considerably less defined, because so few people go beyond it. And due to that foggy, undefined future, most lay down here and fumble around.

You have a decision to make.

There's little left to take - you hold most of the weapons now, and can venture out into the wild on your own. Most do this. Some survive, a few lead others, but most just exist. You give little of what you've taken. The buck stops there.

You're a sunk cost.

What's the other option? You can't yet venture out, so what CAN you do?

You can give back. You can lead others, and get them to that plateau. You can give more than you've taken. You can lead others past the plateau, past the vague, foggy existence of neither giving nor taking.

But you already know that.

It's crystal clear, now that you're "There." It's all part of the same journey we all took. The difference is the decision we made at that plateau, as we looked to the road less traveled.

The question is not what TO do. The question is:

WILL YOU DO IT?

It is what it is

You assume the position, the resulting comfort almost hurts you.

Rotating and revolving around the same center point, the fan is your clockwork, both entrancing you into and deceiving you out of momentary dreams of what is, what could be, and what should be. Or is it an illusion? It is what it is.

It doesn't matter. You detest entering, but despise leaving once you're there. At the fork in the road you see two paths, knowing a third hides just beneath your nose, and lie down to bask in beautiful hesitation. The high road and the low road. They are what they are.

You glance high and see the glory, but so too feel the pull to look down low. Is it so bad to see what lies down below? Is it in itself an admittance of defeat to even see what lies down the path so "low?" Comfort as the enemy of change is also the enemy of pain. Is an enemy of change necessarily an enemy of progress? It could be.

You lean your head back to your imaginary rest, basking still in hesitation. A full cloud of confusion sneaks from your open mouth, just behind the silent scream, begging every time the seemingly crucial question. The flavor you long for, is it not tasted everywhere? Or is such a delight decidedly a trait of origin, be it the source, or the tender, guided hand? The questions whisp away, leaving you to wonder if it even should be.

So you wonder. And you wander. If you believe it is, then is it not, what it is?

The Chips are Falling and the Dice are Rolling and...?

Like sobriety to a Frank I once knew, frankness is not a common trait here. Tonight is special, I guess, for I am writing this prior to heavily discussing the topic with those who normally set my path straight if not True.

Over the past several days I've been pondering and plotting my Next Move, and unexpectedly stumbled upon the slow realization that I'm really tired. Tired of The Fight in its current form. Tired of mixed fruit shisha dancing around the room during the all-too-common nights of not relaxation but reflection and constant but questionable revolution. Tired of the venues through which I'm trying to leave my mark. Tired of the friction and anguish and resigned sighs of hills never quite completed and races never quite finished.

I, like many before, during, and after my time, poured my heart, soul, and life into AIESEC. At this point such a statement refrains a broken record.

Oft proclaimed but not oft maintained.

And therein lies a problem. It would seem our 4 years of college and for some the first 2 - 3 years of Life After exist as the only legitimate time to make our marks in this Quest. That period of life seems to be the only period where Peace and sweat and tears roll together and are fucking worth it.

The Chancellor hands over your diploma of triumph just before you accept your dimploma of defeat. And then you leave.

I tried, but now I got houses to buy, cars to drive, and oh yeah the sushi will be here at five and tee time got switched to seven.

Honestly, where are the change agents? Who in your network would you note as someone making or seriously trying to make a worthwhile change? I count nary but a small, miniscule few in mine. This saddens me.

It's a travesty in its own right, but my point lies not here (that is for another day perhaps), because amidst this mass of faded farce of potential lies a small crop who continue fighting, just as many of us once fought. They choose their venues and sweat just as we once sweat, making a Mark on their corner of the world. Kudos.

That's not my point either, because there is one more group, albeit even smaller. It's a group that does not choose to move on or change venues, but instead stay right the fuck here on the front lines, where it all began and all too often ends.

It is this small (small should not be confused with exclusive or elite) group in which I call myself part, and it is through this experience that I've noticed a few things. While I am sort of still there, I am mostly not, and as I once noted, sometimes you have to leave in order to fully grasp a place or thing you feel a part.

***

It is an interesting thing; admitting defeat.

And in a way, I feel myself slowly, in a way, doing it.

AIESEC may not be the proper conduit for my energy, aspirations, and attempts at making this world more beautiful for my and your children.

It is not a defeat per se, but in my heart it feels the same. Beautiful, essential blessings of the organization happen to also be atrocious, terrible curses. You can't sprint when you've got cinder blocks tied to your ankles. Throughout my time entrenched in AIESEC, my vision never ended with graduation, and that didn't change until the very recent days as streams became rivers and rivers became cesspools of emotion and revelation.

It was not long ago I entertained ideas of Board participation, continual mentorship, or tertiary levels of contribution. But it may be time to scale back my dreaming, cut through these illusions of grandeur and face reality for what it is. I simply don't think I can do through AIESEC what I want to see done.

And so perhaps all those others were on the right route, if the wrong track. Perhaps I must leave my AIESEC time for what it was, and move on. There's plenty, some may say too much opportunity to make a mark. For the time being, I think I will explore as I've never explored before. Where else can I entrench, get my hands dirty, and leave the cinder blocks behind? It's a question I've never considered before, and now must, for my own sake.

This is not to say I withdraw from the Quest or that I foresee zero dances with the organization. Far from that. But this is to say I may scale back the currently substantial portion of my brain it resides in. There is still much to love; humans to push, pull, and infuriate; and Dreams to live.

This is also not to say I do not believe in the organization. It serves a noble, crucial purpose (for which it fairs OK, but not great - producing skills, philosophies, and drives of True Shakers).

If you are in AIESEC, stay the fuck right there.

But given my current life stage, I cannot affirm my own following of that order in a literal sense. People like myself and others greater than I were not planned for, nor really precedented. There are no flow charts created for people like us, administratively outside, but mentally inside with You.

I am not withdrawing, neither literally nor metaphorically. On the contrary, I'm looking to better dig in, maintain and magnify. I had envisioned my personal quest as an ecosystem comprised of myself, my end goals, and a conduit. I thought AIESEC would be that conduit, but I am now doubting it. Hence, this may require change. And that, ironic as it is, is an interesting, scary, and sobering proposition.

leaving and coming back

Oft has been preached the importance of leaving your country in order to fully understand and grasp your country.

What we never realized was how many other things that concept applies to.

Your family, your university, your organization.

Think about it.

musing

You go seeking answers, but then you sit intertwined, frozen in real time, and it is only more questions you find.

The intro went something like this:

this would definitely be a marked chapter on the DVD

In Madison. This is probably the part in the movie where it starts to get really interesting, especially in 80 minutes when I seek to make a mark of significance on 115 beautiful babies.

I'll post the video intro tomorrow.

An interesting question

1. Knowing what you know now, if you could time travel back exactly 1 year, what would you tell yourself?

2. If you could travel back to your first day of college, what 1 piece of wisdom would you tell yourself?

I'd be interested to hear what people have to say.

clarity

The only interaction in the next 10 seconds will be between you and your heart.
Some things cannot be fooled, and your heart is one of them.
Every day that dawns is a chance for you to live The Dream.
Your dream is not to be found, it is to be created.

Talking Points versus Data Points

I was forwarded the following message from a relative. Under this is my response, which I sent to everyone on the list, including some people I didn't know (I included any email address I could find from the "forward" fields in the body text).

*********
CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?
This is very interesting and we all need to read it from start to Finish......... and send it on to anyone who will read it

Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out
about any atrocities.....

Can a good Muslim be a good American?
This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20
years.

The following is his reply:

Theologically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God
of Arabia ..

Religiously - no. . . . Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah
except Islam (Quran, 2:256) (Koran)

Scripturally - no. . . Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of
Islam and the Quran.

Geographically - no . . . Because his allegiance is to Mecca , to which he
turns in prayer five times a day.

Socially - no. . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him To make
friends with Christians or Jews.

Politically - no. . . Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual
leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America , the
great Satan.

Domestically - no. . . Because he is instructed to marry four Women and
beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34 )

Intellectually - no. . . Because he cannot accept the American
Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the
Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically - no. . . . Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran does not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually - no. . . . Because when we declare "one nation under God," the
Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as
Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent
names. - - - Therefore after much study and deliberation.... Perhaps we
should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. - - - They
obviously cannot be both "good" Muslims and good Americans.
* * * Call it what you wish..it's still the truth.
* * * You had better believe it.
+ + + The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country
and our future. The religious war is bigger than we know or understand. . ..
And Barack Hussein Obama, a Muslim, wants to be our President? You have GOT to be kidding! Wake up America !

Obama even says if he wins the election, he will be sworn in on the Quran---not a Bible!

***********

MY RESPONSE:

I'm not normally big on responding to something as factually sparse and rhetorically misleading as this, but this hits somewhere fairly close to home given the fact that I've lived in Egypt for 7 months and now Malaysia for 5.(providing me a total of 1 year in 2 very different Muslim countries). Additionally, I have several very good friends in the United States who are Muslim.

I'm doing this because emails like this are based on talking points schemed up by political parties to sway voters, when in fact it is data points they should be providing to help voters make informed decisions.

I have a few data points I think might be useful as you consider your vote. I don't care about your vote, I just want to share some information.

Anyway, to begin with, the lines taken from the Koran are obviously put in a position to be taken WAY out of context and some are frankly wrong. For example, consider this line:


Socially - no. . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him To make friends with Christians or Jews.

What, exactly, is this line based on? I have no idea. You have no idea. This makes it very unhelpful to our individual decision making processes.

Another example that is different but related is the "Al Gore invented the internet" statement. This statement (or talking point) was completely massaged, misconstrued, and taken out of context to make him look like a fool. Here's the data of what he actually said:

http://www.sethf.com/gore/

As you can see, his actual statement was manipulated for political gain, not social or productive gain.

Items like this are extremely unhealthy for us as empowered citizens to be passing around willy nilly. I think this is something we can all agree on regardless of our own political leanings and affiliations.

I could easily pull out Scripture lines that could be massaged the same way the lines in this email were. Is this helpful? Not at all. Is it hurtful to us all? Definitely.

As our primaries progress and the national election nears, we must discuss relevant issues using facts, and if we don't have the facts we need, we must seek them out.

Let me offer a few more facts from my own experiences with Muslims, of which there are many.

In my 7 months in Egypt, I was invited into the homes of several Muslim families to spend time, share meals, and just get to know each others world perspectives, political views, and life experiences.

Instead of forcing their perspective, as often happens in my conversations with fellow Americans, they were actually very inquisitive and interested in what I thought. I don't get that much from Americans (Democrats or Republicans).

In 4.5 years in Madison (at UW), how many homes was I invited into? Zero.

Does this make Muslim families "stronger" than American families? No. Could it be massaged? Yes. And you'll never hear of such experiences in 3-minute clips on Channel 5 news, which is a bummer.

One of my best friends from Madison, a Muslim originally born in Egypt, will be joining Teach for America this June because she wants to improve the educational system for all our children. I can think of few examples that better exemplify an act of giving and improving our nation.

In all my time living in these Muslim countries, I've never met anyone (Muslim or otherwise) who wouldn't LOVE to visit the United States and find out once and for all what it's really like. I met a ton of Egyptians who even wanted to go to Israel. The sad truth is that they will never be able to do so; to go and see the country and meet the people face to face, because of the implications it would have back in Egypt.

And just the same, while in Israel, I met Israelis who wanted to travel to Egypt to see the country and meet the people, but they too were worried about the implications they may invoke from their government.

When I went to Israel, I had to take special measures to appease the Egyptian government before my voyage. One of my best friends went to Israel (while he was living in Egypt) and later had his phone tapped by the Egyptian government. Is this fair? No. Our government does the same sort of nonsensical phone tapping to non-citizens and even our own citizens as well.

It is important to separate the distinction between governments, extremist groups, and normal, average Muslim humans, just as you are a normal, average American human who doesn't always approve of what your government or national extremest groups do.

I could provide more data and perspective, but in light of brevity I'll finish here. I have one last thought.

Currently, everyday a primary ends, I am bombarded with questions from foreigners here interested in OUR results. Did you see it? What do you think? they ask. Our vote is impacting the world, yet it is often us who don't realize it. Often times, our government has a bigger impact on their lives than their own government. A Finnish friend asked if I was voting because if I wasn't, he wanted me to cast a vote in my stead - because the US policy decisions impact his life so much.

And finally, the constitution calls for the separation of "Church" (or Religion, which is what our Founding Fathers (where's the Founding Mothers?) meant) and State. If we are to remain the nation of equality, regardless of religion (religious freedom is why our first settlers came here), it is critical that we apply this idea not selectively, but completely.

Just as our Pledge of Allegiance says "under God," it also calls for "liberty and justice for all." Let's keep it that way.

Your vote is extremely important and has implications all over the world, so please take the time to do it carefully. And please give your fellow American citizens the respect they deserve.

And now, I'm off to the Philippines to visit Grace and get some much needed R & R,

Mix

PS - Indonesia, which has the largest Muslim population in the world, has a democracy. Here's an article from the Christian Science Monitor:

http://www.csmonitor.com/2004/0728/p08s03-cojh.html

*******

And now I'm off to the Philippines. Grace called a few hours ago to make sure I shaved. Great to have people looking out for me.

Mixxing Them Up: Growth, Community, Integration, and Goals

I'm drinking Jack Daniels. It's pretty spicy, but the Hobo will look sweet atop that mother ship.

I've been pondering this discussion since my first comment, and have been delightedly following the discussion and occasionally chirping in here and whence.

Several themes have arisen, but I'm deliberately only addressing a few. Not all would be appropriate for me to comment on. I'd encourage the people who brought up points not yet addressed to act on these within the LC - have a discussion, initiate some work, whatever. Just do it.

I haven't listened to Floyd in quite some time, but Terminal Frost is taking me somewhere deep. Here we go.

GROWTH

First off, I am not (and I don't believe anyone here is) advocating growth for growth's sake. I'm advocating a sizable recruitment to protect the LC from a major leadership gap in the future.

Let me illustrate with an example.

Just a few semesters before I joined, the LC was a very capable position, in its own eyes. The EB decided they didn't need to recruit anyone that semester, taking the opportunity to not get bogged down with added members and instead focus on execution.

Yadda yadda yadda, they ended up taking 1 newbie (for the record she was quite hot and bit my ear in a casual way once - jawesome).

A year later, shit hit the fan within the EB, and several of the power players - the pillars in the org - dropped out. Just up and left.

This left a huge void. Guess how many people were even remotely capable of filling these gaps?

...1

Now I'm not saying that our EB is going to melt down, but hopefully this illustrates my point why you NEED an appropriately sized influx of new minds every single semester. You need to keep the pipeline full. It's not just for this semester, it's hedging for the future.

Look at the current LC. Take away 1 recruitment class. What sort of gaps now exist? Who IS NOT there? Would the LC be where it's at without those people? Are you willing to even make that bet?

If you take 0 members, you completely eliminate one inflow of the leadership pipeline, and it won't fuck you now, but it will fuck you later (see example above).
Plus, the larger the size of the LC, the larger the batch of people needed to fullfil the required roles.

If you take 0, 10, 20, or perhaps even 30 members, will you acquire enough people to fill the roles necessary in an LC of 100 people (let's use that as the current benchmark for now)?

And not just formal roles like VP of Doing Shit, but the other, informal (and just as critical) roles generally filled by unsung heroes. Anything under 30 and I say NO, but I'd still be more comfortable with at least 40. Could just be semantics at that point, but 1 great person could EASILY result in mental output that makes those additional 10 people seem trivial.

So, paradoxically, maintaining the current level requires a certain level of growth from Day 0 of the semester to 1st day of newbies. I think an LC should ideally be able to take on 50% more members with ease. Let's get there.

And lastly about growth, a little perspective. If you asked me 5 years ago if an LC of 80 was possible, I probably would have laughed. When we got up to 40 people, we nearly filled up a small room - filling up that huge lecture hall was pipe dreams!

That would take years, I surmised. Yet lo and behold, we got there before I had to leave.

There are 2 key reasons for this collective achievement, I think.

First, we finally set Fucking HUGE, Fucking SCARY goals. I remember the first time Trent said we could fill up that hall during a recruitment drive. "That many people interested in joining AIESEC?" I asked. I swear to god I straight up lied to Trent straight in the eyes when I eventually said I agreed.

Now we fill up that room with MEMBERS.

It took 3 years, but we got there. And it started with a fucking scary goal, and then came in increments.

Set huge goals, and get there incrementally. Measure your progress the entire time, but never lose sight of that finish line. And be ready to set a new dash for a new goal.

Second, we started growing very rapidly and with that, the very feeling of our LC was changing rapidly as well. Except, our new members had NO IDEA the scope of changes that were taking place.

Members in their 1st semester merely saw this as the Starting Block. 2nd Semester members were still maturing as members and were a bit oblivious to these rapid changes as well.

Only us old members new the changes that were happening. Everyone else saw it as Point A... so their perspectives were different than ours.

So when we visionized and talked about what was possible, if we old members kept our mouths shut to an extent and didn't down play ideas, an 80 member LC didn't sound that bad to a newbie coming into a 60 member LC.

And then there was me, over in the corner, shitting my pants.

McKim has no idea what it's like to be in a 20 person LC. Imagine that? How sweet is that? His base is 60 or so! That's a full THREE TIMES what my basic reference point started at.

And so the idea of what is possible changed as well, as the collective reference point of the LC caught up.

But, once you say its ok to take some small number, that becomes a point of reference for future generations and grounds their own ideals of what Could Be. Remember that.

FINALLY, the key here is to still build in a solid inflow of talent, and then use this time to figure out how to catch up the org structure (may need to read some OUTSIDE books, cause lord knows there ain't much besides our own brains to help us here. Books are the only other option).

I agree with re-assessing the structure of the LC, but don't let that need fully stunt your incremental growth, and always be sure to have that end vision in mind.

Make sure people know you are taking a moment to set things up and that "we only took 40 this semester so that next semester we can recruit 60 totally new people again."

Make this a goal: "recruit 75 more people in next Fall semester."

COMMUNITY, INTEGRATION, AND ATTACHING MEMBERS TO THE DREAM

As I said, your perceptions of the LC get grounded in your own experience and can be a bit slow in adapting to the new realities of a quickly changing LC. It's a weird phenomenon in AIESEC, but as a member ages, they often get more conservative, not more aggressive in pushing the envelope.

This inability to mentally evolve quickly enough could be a cause of that. For the record, I myself probably fall into this category and I'm not saying it judgmentally, just observationally.

So as this conversation progresses to action steps, you may need to evolve YOUR idea of community (remember, it doesn't always adapt as quickly as required by the the LC evolution). Find a common idea of it that most people can mostly agree on and start moving towards it.

A new person may actually be better at "adapting" than you because they aren't carrying as much "baggage" of prior experiences. They're more open.

The exciting part here is that we COULD potentially create a "community" where you don't necessarily need to know everyone's name, but you WILL know that you are linked by your aspiration towards this common vision/mission (everyone gets integrated through giving them work). Out of this common thread a community could evolve.

What a great opportunity!

While you can't ever really be sure if someone is "integrated," you can usually tell if they aren't. Also, Just because you can't tell they aren't integrated, doesn't mean they ARE integrated.

** I think the key signal, which has been alluded to in some comments, is that if someone's executing on a good deal of valuable shit, they probably feel integrated.

Thus, by focusing on expanding the work the LC collectively does, you are inherently also working towards a better sense of community and probably better integrated members. This is the pillar I myself would probably use to approach the issue of integration. However, this is a discussion the LC itself must conclude and act on.

All my opining in the world won't do jack to better integrate Chris McKim. But if I give him a few worthwhile tasks, show them why they're valuable to our team, the LC as whole, as well as to his own development, then he'll probably feel pretty damn good about getting the tasks done well.

A celebratory drink at Echo Tap should probably seal the deal.

Give someone substantial tasks that matter. Follow up and assess afterwards.

How can you take those 2 basic interactions and scale them up to a 100 person group, then take it up another notch to 200? That's a question worth exploring.

A good first step would be making sure each person understands the value of those 2 basic interactions, how to do them as a manager/leader, and why you should teach it to other people (spread the word about the idea underlying these 2 interactions).

FINISHING THOUGHTS/MOVES JOHNNY CAGE STYLE

We didn't get to the moon by saying let's make a plane that can fly a bit higher than the current altitude leader.

Instead we said LET'S GET TO THE FUCKING MOON.

Big ass goals matter, and inspire big ass results, so even if the goal isn't huge growth for this semester, make sure your B.A.G. is measurable and large. And make sure you are fitting this all into a grander vision, with concrete ideas for the following semester.

Remember Trent's idea of filling that lecture hall with recruits? It all started with an idea that seemed radically outlandish. And then we even overachieved.

One of the biggest and most important thing I've learned in my 4 months of working experience is that incremental tests can get you far, but they take a long time.

Radical Tests are what create breakthroughs.

Both are important. Don't put all your bets on one or the other, but also don't discredit one or the other. And as you discuss what to do, what things to test, and hypothesize, remember there is never reason to be sorry for suggesting something.

We never get hurt by having too many ideas, only by TOO FEW.

Suggest ideas with reckless abandon and when you've finally exhausted every single brain cell coming up with ideas, systematically go through them and toss out those not appropriate. Yes, some ideas are in fact better than others. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't list THEM ALL. Ideas breed other ideas. They mate. They make baby ideas.

And one of those babies could be a winner.

So let's find a baby, and make her a winner.

Mix Master

PS - this is EXACTLY the issue that I could see NFT's driving forward. Their leadership and experience would be very useful in facilitating the conversations, crystallizing the information, and getting others involved. Great way to informally assemble a team and Get Shit Done. Not necessary, but just a thought.

As our scope progresses, the necessity to increase the speed with which you get newbies up to speed increases, as does the Level you need to get them up to, which makes this even harder.

But it also signifies progress.

And that is a good thing.

Conversation and nomadlife

I'd always envisioned nomadlife acting as a coffee shop, where people could sit around and discuss whatever topics arouse them. With a common set of interests, a megaphone for your voice (your blog), and a connector (nomadlife.org), I had thought everything in place to develop one continuous, amorphous, evolving conversation.

I will opine that this has not happened. Instead, it's been a lot of 1-way talking. Few posts actually build on each other.

Additionally, many of the big voices within my circle have fallen rather silent lately, and a few others I think would be of value have failed to find their tune. This is not judgmental, but rather observational and worth noting. These voices often act as water coolers around which many others stand.


Why do you think it turned out this way? Do you think it could be different? What environment is optimal to you?

Looking back on a time I was looking forward

I have this feeling that I'm party of a generation that is going to
fuck some shit up. Generations coming before and going after us aren't
quite the same. We're part of something bigger. It's all about the
innovation. Taking what is given and making it ten times better. The
mouse pointer vaporized again, it's all by keyboard now. Things that
worked for our elders (aka bosses, granparents, previous leaders)
aren't working for us because they aren't good enough. It's time to
innovate.

Fuck shit up, man.

Fuck shit uP.

That was my 7th post ever on this blog, back in October 2004. Interesting thoughts at the time.

2007, in words

(I've written this as an unedited stream of thoughts so that, should I ever desire to, I can look back and see what in 2007 garnered mention and what did not. May you also enjoy the roll of credits to a year that covered as much as or more distance than mine.)

I believe I've given 2008 ample time to settle in, so it seems only appropriate to take a look and ponder 2007.

I entered the year high strung and at an all-time high for stress; hardly a royal beginning. In the midst of my efforts to join the @US MC, I momentarily shed the tight limbs, heavy shoulders, and rapid heart beat to join another gunslinger in establishing a new Dream. It wasn't exactly the New Deal, but it was Our Deal.

It was more than a presentation. It was an outpouring straight from our hearts to anyone that would listen. I have never been more enveloped in delivering a message.. and perhaps never will again. It was tiring, but the fire grew only hotter as the clock ticked closer to the delivery. We walked away from Ground Zero knowing the Message was sent, and hoping it was received.

Thought that was the end of it, too.

From there, I re-assumed my heavy load and poured what remained of my essence into requesting acceptance to push an idea back into the world and across all borders. For reasons and in ways I shall never know, this request was left ungranted, and for a time I knew not where the path would take me next.

I took rejection of the MC aspiration awful well. Through it, a door slowly creaked open revealing another dimension of organizational existence that I hadn't yet been privy to. It is my belief that perhaps my mental health would not have survived such an environment. I look back with pleasure and with scorn, but mostly pleasure.

And so I put energy elsewhere. Opportunities to work in my own country were nil, yet opportunities to work abroad seemed plentiful (which anything would when compared to zero). With offers to work in 3 countries, I finally selected one, thereby sealing my future to a path... one which did not contain allegiance to the organization I had dedicated the most effective of my energies for the previous 4.5 years.

It seemed weird, but also seemed right. "Rest in Peace" I told my past, as my gaze focused on the future. Your time was good, but the times ahead are better. May my memory of this period stay strong, as memory of any metamorphosis should.

That party was dead anyway.

College concluded with one question on my mind, "Had I graduated after 4 years, would I have really been ready?"

I really don't think so. My level of maturity and mental toughness experienced vast growth over that last, 'extra' year of college. I don't blindly recommend the extra year to everyone, but I now realize the importance of these few formative years right out of college.

Choose your environment wisely, and make sure it entails a continued heavy dose of education. This, or these next 4 years, I think, are when you get your real degree. Like I said, choose wisely and make use of it well.

And suddenly I found myself in Asia, a place I usually dreamed about because it seemed so sexy to do so. And all the sudden I was there.

How the hell did that happen? I'm still not sure.

But it let me check another item off The List, and should facilitate additional check marks as well. I finally started the next steps, college turned into then and though my age hasn't progressed unnaturally, my entrance to Asia also marked the entrance to a new bracket of existence.

And although I don't proclaim this feeling of old age as many others do (for reasons I still don't understand), I understand it. I'm not a zealot of blindly flowing with the river, but some things are not worth the energy.

It's all about seeing the opportunities opening or closing before you.

That's the biggest lesson I've learned this year. Every decision you make opens some and closes others, but the trick is to focus on those that are open.

The closed ones are finished books, empty glasses, and delivered jokes. No use trying to climb a ladder that isn't there.

And time and time again, I've reproved to myself that losing, or experiencing a rejection towards some aspiration, just gives you more time to finally see the other doors that are open.

And so, one of those doors, was a revisit to The Dream, somewhere near Chicago.

The Last Verse.

The name seems appropriate. Rare is it to dictate your last message, and even rarer so to be given such preparation for articulation.

As elated as an opportunity would make one feel, it's tough not to let that elation seep into your expectations and rocket them sky high.

It's hard to live up to your own expectations. And when your own start to get clouded, it makes it even harder to read those of others. Which is crucial when executing a task that requires such sensory.

So the gunslingers gave it one more go. I have never had such a rush of emotion as the hours leading up to and after our final presentation in Chicago.

It was magnified by the fact that we entered relatively unannounced.

And that concluded a series of events I won't forget, and was the first experiment at spreading a message I believed worth spreading. Sadly I shall never know the true results of our efforts, but I rest easy knowing we did all we could.

And I learned a lot about spreading an idea.

I finished 2007 with considerable less fanfare, mentally alone amidst a party of revelers part-way up a mountain.

As the fog rolled in and blurred the lights and visions thereof, I considered the symbolism of it all. My future blurred, I saw what lie ahead as the year to venture forth alone, in a way refinding my worth and proving it.

2007 was about finding the Jungle.
2008 is about entering it.

What I learned from chipping a tooth and cutting my tongue and lip

1. Your tongue is surprisingly crucial to grooming
A. An injured tongue makes it harder to
1. keep stuff from dripping down your chin
2. get food bits out of your gums, from in between your teeth, out of the
craters of each tooth
3. lick a drop of food or drink off your lips/hand/arm
B. Without tongues we would consume much more paper due to increased napkin usage

2. Immediately after injuring your tongues is tough and painful, but the hardest part is 2 - 3 days later when it is partially healed. You try to talk as if it was healed, but it often reminds you it isn't yet 100%. The increased size due to the healing process also makes you bite it more often, too.

3. Acute changes to your mouth structure are incredibly easy to detect when they happen quickly, yet the magnitude of the change is nearly impossible to determine without help from your eyes.

4. 36 hours after the injury I could slowly eat most foods; a testament to the regenerative abilities of tongues.

5. The lower portion of your lips (the red part of mine) heal even faster due to the high blood flow through the region. Upper lips aren't as skilled in the arts of healing.

6. The outside of your teeth are covered with Dentyne (?), which makes them less sensitive. The inside structure of your teeth don't have this, and so are much more susceptible to hot/cold stimuli... making the consumption of food a bit more exciting.

Merry XXX-Mas

The international dinner went down last night with at least 7 countries represented. While Christmas has always been a period I prefer to be home, I can't say my experiences of it abroad have been too shabby. I came out of the secret santa game with a candle set thingy, so the party is in the bathtub tonight (...ladies?).

And so, Merry Christmas friends, to all you near and all you far. I consider myself very lucky.

Past:

Present:


Now I'm going to go play board games with my boss et al.

A Peace Manifesto - Part I

The ideas in this piece of writing began conjoining and interlocking on December 11, 2007 as I was walking under a gentle Malaysian rain. I was contemplating the idea of Loss, specifically related to friendships, relationships, and maybe other ships. But somehow, somewhere in there, I began contemplating the idea of Gain, specifically related to friendships, relationships, and probably other ships. This led me to the idea of peace.

It is dedicated to that 9th grader, who wrote, in a few lines of deeply resonating poetry, something I think our generation should listen to.

There is much talk in this world over what will define this age of human progress; which glorious slogan or title will define Today. The Internet Revolution. The War on Terrorism. Generation Next. Citizen/Networked Journalism and Blogging. Global Warming. Britney Spears et al.

But is that true? Is that what we want. Are these what we, as a generation, have decided shall define our days here on Earth? Or has this been projected, either by onlookers or even some of us actively deciding the fate and history of Us, We, The People of Tomorrow, The Youth of Today.

While terrible or terrific in their own rights, these are not the things our generation should be judged by. I will not – or simply CANNOT – allow my time here to be remembered by a war fraught with misunderstanding or a phenomenon of any type based on or in popular culture, and, while revolutions indeed, the proliferation of the internet and the rise in power of The Commons have not yet created the lasting effects of a magnitude I think we’re capable of.

The internet. Finally information is accessible by all, almost. But it still remains a venue through which people are oppressed and things can be withheld. Redirected traffic. Un-indexed sites. There is something underneath this beautiful idea of access which we still need to overcome.

But no one can take away your-our ability to spread peace to the environment directly around you-us. No one has the power to stop me from holding that elevator door open just a little longer for the other human approaching.

Within our small sphere of influence, no one can stop us from spreading peace.

I walk down the street, an act I’ve done in over 10 countries now, and see how quickly and universally a driver uses his horn to chastise a move he’s deemed inappropriate. But was it really that bad? Has he not done that as well; turned into the lane when he thought it was clear?

Even on a forum like TechCrunch, merely a source for Silicon Valley start-up news and developments, a vast majority of comments adorn every post with derisive and aggressive statements instead of insightful and constructive conversation.

And every day, customer service representatives, humans there to help us solve our problems, suffer personal attacks and angry, misplaced and unchecked aggression.

Politicians the world over spend millions, and sometimes billions, of dollars putting down and trashing others’ campaigns, ambitions, and values instead of building their own. When did we lose focus on what WE, as individuals-vessels-leaders are to instead focus on what others are not?

So it seems we have yet more work to do. Or perhaps we simply need to realign our focus as cohabitating humans to something a little… different. Just a bit.

I think we need to focus on Peace. The word. The idea. The slogan.

And make it something more. A movement. A cause. An end.

And make it measurable.

To some it’s a scary word and an even scarier idea, though I’m not sure why.

But it’s important enough for us to fight wars over. And generations before and likely generations after have and will write songs about it, give speeches on it, and legislate around it.

But prose and poetry is not enough for our generation. In this piece, I’m calling on our generation to Act On It...

on 'space'

Do I mean Outer Space or Inner Space? Which is more important?

Anyway, just a thought. I am pretty particular about my work environment. For example, I hate working at home, even though it's often the only place I can also get a desk of proper size (huge). I rarely studied at home, and now that I think of it, I never knew where to look for the environment I liked best.

Now, I think it might be beneficial for a library or social space to somehow convey what type of work environment it has. Like, "Room X has huge tables, great for group projects or an individual doing research and needing to lay out lots of papers."

These 'ads' of sorts could also be used to convey information. Some people don't realize the potential that some work spaces have. Referring back to the prior sentence, not everyone thinks about using Group Project areas when they need a huge table. You could rephrase it as "Room X has huge tables, great for group projects. It is also very useful for an individual doing research and needing to lay out a lot of papers." (I would bold that part so people don't miss it).

I thought about this while taking a bathroom break from working in a Starbucks during a holiday.

Internal Blog

Perspective is worth a lot more than it costs. (Seth Godin on internal blogs)

One of things I never rallied hard enough for (within the org) was a strictly internal blog system. I was there for the initial conversations, and God knows what document it's been lost under now. I should have kept it as a paper weight, not a paper.

The persistent inability for crucial decision-making contexts, results, and reasonings to be transferred from one generation to the next amazes me. That, and the fact that so little was/is done to address it. In a culture so deeply rooted in centrality at the moment, there still is no easily accessible place to go for research and learning.

Where would I be writing this if such a system existed? How many more targeted, thoughtful, and interested minds would see this? How easy would it be to voice thoughts and catalyze them if there was a dedicated space for it?

Instead I write this here, causing confusion for those who can't understand my indirect references as I hold back proper nouns.

Doing nothing will never fix it. Starting such a 'system' would start to fix it. Innovating on this system would/could finish fixing it.

Which step do you think is the hardest?

musing

I have heard this tip before, but I don't know if I buy into it:

rule 2: write provocative emails. you never know what could come of them. it is rather simple to deduce the CEO of a company's email by looking at how the other email addresses that are available to the public are structured. for example, if the emails seem to be first initial last name (ie pat jones=pjones@company.com), google the company, find the ceo's name, and just apply the formula. (Sydney)

The CEO is often times not the best entry point to an organization. There's a reason their emails are usually not listed - they've got bigger fish than unsolicited emails to fry. Additionally, this tip is too often abused in that idealists or young guns contact the Big Guns without knowing what that person is into. Depending on the specifics of your writing, it could almost be labeled a form of spam... and no normal human wants to be that guy.

So, sure, there is the off-chance that you hit an extraordinary soul and something grand comes from your email, but I wouldn't count on it, especially if you had to use some trickery and Google to get their contact info. I'd start with a different point of contact, or would start first trying to meet people in person, i.e. networking. Those are much higher leverage contacts and, I'd guess, much more worth your time. Let them first give you permission (you must earn it) to contact them, just like we as consumers request of producers.

Update: Another link for unsolicited communication.

musings of times past

Mix generally ain't one for doing this, but for some reason there is a deep urge to share this one. Those fellow soldiers who were part of this Dream may likely feel the same deep feeling currently engulfing this soul...

So it has taken me a while to get back to you on this. This is not fully due to laziness (only partially).. I've actually been pondering it quite a bit. You see, the first semester I joined there were like 4 major social events. I went to Michigan, Buffalo, and Colorado... then had summer conference and a few more events the next semester. Anyway, at these events, there was a core group of people that always showed up (craziest parties of my life). I happen to catch the tail end of their careers and when they left... I wondered the same things you just asked me.

And so I went through a process of comparing my reality at that point versus the reality at my point of joining (i hope that makes sense). From what my feeble mind could decipher, I decided on one thing. Was this core group of partiers more hard core than others? No. "Periphery People" always showed up who could party close to as hard (usually not fully as hard, but close). Did they have cars? No, they usually convinced others with cars to come along (Nice!).

The fact of the matter was, they all liked each other. They were true friends. @ brought them together and was how they saw each other.. events, conferences, etc. And so, in a way, that HAS in fact changed a bit. I see far less inter-LC friendships that are able to transcend distance. And, there are far fewer truly crazy people.. the kind that will spend hours and weeks organizing a big fucking party so that their equally crazy friends will drive 8+ hours (12 to buffalo for us) one way to hang out for like 36 hours. This is when you know you have serious friendships, and a mix of compatible people.

Now, I know that, like myself, you lack certain brain tissue that most other humans have. You probably would drive 8 - 12 hours for 1.5 days with some rad people. But are there other people in @ willing as well? This was the agreement. You come to mine, and I'll go to yours (I'll show you mine, you show me...).

So that, I think is how you reignite those flames. You gotta find people you really like, and they gotta be crazy. It's easier said than done, but man, it's really, really rad when it happens...

More Firsts at the Gym

Today at the gym, I participated in my first ever exercise-related class. This is where things get interesting.

I jumped in on a spinning class. The instructor is from South America, I think. I really liked him, aside from when he would stop to laugh in sync with the song... this perturbed me because I was in such pain and he could pretend he was laughing.

I'll probably go again. BradyDale served as mild inspiration for this drastic move. But it's not yet time for you all to get concerned. I still haven't created a label for this work-out stuff. At that point...

And as a note, last night at the gym (yea, I was at the gym twice in 12 hours... ladies?), chips started to fall into place for another dance off... but try as "we" might, we couldn't quite reach the tipping point for a full-fledged epic Dance Floor Battle to the Death.

education systems

I've found myself talking about our financial aid system several times in the past several days and, after a long and incoherent explanation, the general result is a few glazed over eyes and a change of subject. From now on I think my response to inquiries about the state of financial affairs will be

"...... wanna do a shisha?"

I suspect the results will be better, or maybe similar.

But the topic has put my toes in another pond, which is the general "system" we have of going to school for 4 years and then getting a job. A worthwhile internship just is not part of the equation for many people. By worthwhile I mean something better than working for the canning factory, golf course, or whatever. I'm thinking about internships of substance, where you have real responsibilities and ramifications around them. I'm also thinking about positions that are 6 - 12 months, not the 10 week dance of most summer gigs.

Many of the Europeans I've met do/have not taken this power-through-my-4-years type course, but instead have spent a year on an MC, taken time "off" for a substantial internship, or a combination of both. They finally "finish" college a year or more later than we do in the US, but I would guess come out a much more refined product. And I also have to believe these internships better help them focus their interests in school. Better focus means better motivation and a generally more mature student.

The stigma that not finishing school in 4 years is bad is I think very damaging to our output of quality fresh graduates. Instead of subscribing to the "get in - get out" mentality, we'd do ourselves a much greater justice by including more in this developmental journey than just a few years of sleeping through classes, and maybe a decent 10 week stint before your senior year.

For the record, I'm not saying these opportunities aren't available. I'm saying they need better integration into our programs and a much better story being told to students (i.e. marketing). This requires participation and buy-in from all parties involved; parents, students, academic institutions, employer market, internship/job suppliers, and government jag-offs.

My water is boiling, so I'll stop here for now, but this is what I'm pondering lately while I look zoned out.

When time is short

...it's pretty incredible one can be so selfless.

all tied up

The last rendezvous took place in the Fox Hut, and nearly all is squared away. I leave yet a little more than I can comfortably do on my final day, but energy is not gained without energy getting spent, as it goes. In a few hours I give my final farewells. Then it is just me and the open road.

And the Dreams begin. One Year. Do with it what you will.

Malaysia Navidad!

Coming over the horizon

The time draws nearer and I feel a greater sense of anxiety than my journey to Egypt, my first real departure for a land unknown. I am unsure why my muscles tense up more this time, perhaps because I feel I am leaving more behind, perhaps because the fork at this road's end is still unclear, or perhaps because so proverbially much is at stake. I know not. Perhaps it is them all.

But all knots are being tied and secured, that much is true. I will leave my current state of existence as healthy as it could have been.

Upon my return I will see if the years I spent crafting a tower of hope, the moments I spent realizing something unforeseen, and the sweat I spilled spreading a Dream resulted in something material, to grip and hold, and thus something to return to, or, if they merely inspired a flash of illumination, opening eyes to an instant of faith but engulfed a moment later by a passing cloud and perhaps forgotten with the blink of an eye.

We travel and adventure to bask in those illuminations for the glorious moments they are, but also to embolden our tracks, a foundation to look back on and later return to. Were it not for the moments, our present would be so bleak, and were it not for the tracks, we'd know no glory of times past. And both, both give us the gleam with which our eyes look to the future.

And so we go. I know not what the road ahead beholds, but I look down it and step forward, reborn and baptized in a moment of grace.

So that happened...

And college ends with me in an empty room sitting in a desk chair, laptop in my lap, Ian's Pizza in my hand, and the sun rising. Worry not, the night ends with the assigned tasks not quite completed, per normal. A fitting end.

I think it is time for this writing space to reinvigorate; much has happened, but much is left to be done.

The Future, navidad!

Too soon

Angry and sad at the world today. The Mix Master Clan is a close-knit one, and today we all shed a tear for a fallen soldier.



Rest in peace, little man. The world can be cruel and unjust. Had I anything worth dedicating, it would be for you this day.

filler

Whether you start or not, the world never waits. I'm cleaning carpets for the summer, pondering the limits a boss can surpass in jerk weed factor. Sometimes I put a boat in water, but not usually.

For the record:


Five communed souls on one futon. A dream was lived by at least one person that night. A hot dream, at that.

golden fears

In the theme of measuring unmeasurables, there are several different levels of relation between a person and their desire to acquire or not acquire material possessions. On one end, you have those defined by their possessions, the kind in an endless pursuit for that which is currently It, and on the other end you have those with an aversion to nice possessions, those defined by what they don't, or can't, have. I fall somewhere in the middle, I think.

As the Hobo gets ever closer to revolutionizing The Party everywhere, and my next steps loom closer, I've begun to think about what effects I'd come to face should I achieve some level of success. I'm talking mainly about money, but also the relational changes between myself and associates, friends, and yes, strangers. For now, I'll think about money, and what doors it opens and perhaps closes.

At a certain income threshold, it becomes easy to pick up dinner on the way home or order it to your doorstep, maybe or maybe not justifying it with tiredness or lack of time. Cooking is just so hard! You buy a TV one size larger than planned, speakers with a little more wattage, and an apartment on the top floor, for the parties you lack the energy or time to throw. You subscribe to five magazines but don't read them. You've got a lot of nice shit. It's all nice. You also work your ass off, and usually come home exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. You get about 36 hours of weekend each week if you're lucky, but Friday is dominated by the week past and Sunday by the week ahead. Yet, you're there, man. You can fly to Barcelona on a dime or buy the next iPod coming out, since it has an extra five gigs of space, even though the other wasn't filled. Give the old one to the nice kid who picks up your laundry.

And so, my quandary. I seek the quickest route to financial freedom, yet timidly look forward. It's not that I admonish a life of wealth, or getting yourself nice things, even things you don't need. It's that, should I get there and have to carry with me the long, toiling hours of work and strain usually necessary to sustain the lifestyle, will I possess the ability to ever let it go? Could I drop it for better access to the finer things out There? Or will I hold on as it drives me into the ground?

I'd like to believe I know the answer now, but what about when it all changes?

low fidelity zombie

Went to bed at 6am, up at 10, just like the old days. Should have expected to pull one last all nighter in college, a nice throwback to my early, glossy-eyed days. It is midnight now and I'm still going. Not strong, but still going. My mind is off somewhere else, outside of tiredness, processing much as of late. My face occasionally tightens. I stare off blankly only to zoom back in. There is a big night tomorrow. The pencil is not yet ready for the page.

But it is sharpening.

The Poet and the painter casting shadows on the water --
as the sun plays on the infantry returning from the sea.
The do-er and the thinker: no allowance for the other --
as the failing light illuminates the mercenary's creed.
The home fire burning: the kettle almost boiling --
but the master of the house is far away.
The horses stamping -- their warm breath clouding
in the sharp and frosty morning of the day.
And the poet lifts his pen while the soldier sheaths his sword.

real fantasty fantastically real

Few know I was-am a fantasy buff. Not, not the love tales, but the lore of swords and magic, of times bygone, far off, fantastic. It was there that bounds existed not, and my mind could fly freely, limited only by ideas of possibility. Worlds where suns could know multiplicity. On the battleground in the battle, to the heavens they/we looked in times of death and times of birth. Look to the west we would as darkness grew, to see the setting sun, the imagery of death, ending, fin. But here, in this place, turn our heads to the east we'd say and do, to that second sun, round so pure, rising to shed light, cast shadows of hope and shine and glory, birth. In this place and land and dream we fought for our causes and desires and values and families, believing our belief was what to believe in. Here, one sun set as another rose. Dawn and dusk all in one conjoined and with one the other and the other, one. One sun set as another rose.

Look to the west and look to the east we would. One sun set as another rose.

Spring Break

With great help, I kept the Road Warrior days alive. I converted another Lord of the Rings follower, revisited my 2nd favorite hookah bar, found an interesting path, and started a project 7 days late. Cheers to those involved, you kept The Dream alive.

I found a cord to my external hard drive. Perusing my Egypt pictures takes me to a far off land from a seemingly distant time. Soon I may come to a fork in the road, one where the two paths have vastly different destinations.

slow motion

...
me: yeah man, get in early
aight, i gotta hit this spanish
test tomorrow... have i studied?
am i even done with the homework?
Tony: i would hope not
me: am i working on it or hobohookah?
Tony: thats why bill gates never graduated
he lived the dream and so shall you


It's...getting...really...really...hard...to...take...academics...seriously...right...now.

...especially when I have a revolution to start and a job to find.

musing

I occasionally wonder if it is possible to relapse into culture shock. Odded out in an odd-numbered group, surrounded by conversation I find repulsive and no longer relate to, I find myself wanting to scream, flip out, or just run away. Is it my bitter, righteous mind and heavy heart, or the uncaring perhaps unknowing minds of others? Is it culture shock or a general cynicism and scorn I carry with me every day?

I know not.

Springing Forward

As things wind down, my mind winds up. The finish line looms near, a book unread opens its pages and Mix must choose which chapter to begin.

Standing on the moon, I see a shadow on the sun
Standing on the moon, the stars go fading one by one
I hear a cry of victory, another of defeat
A scrap of age-old lullaby down some forgotten street

knowing the evil, feeling the good

It is said the best leaders have an all-encompassing understanding of that which they lead. They've been everywhere in the entity, know the little tricks in every corner.

Thus, I know these two bitches across the table from me are IMing to each other. One of them looks like Bagel Dunkelburger.


Newark came and went, but the feeling will be with me for qutie some time. Together we achieved more. I felt a togetherness unfelt in other regions, even nationally. The presentation went well, if it is its last iteration it will have gone out with guns blazing. I wish we could measure the results, and hope the money was well spent.

Georgia on my mind

That and Action.

Do > Think. Act > Talk. Action bias!! EXPERIMENT!! R.F.A./Ready. Fire. Aim. (Tom Peters)

On my mnd.

Vexing

The long and arduous journey I found myself on over the past month will end tomorrow with a mother notified her son will still be unemployed. A wide open road before me, there are millions of possibilities...

Nine mile skid on a ten mile ride,
hot as a pistol but cool inside.
Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!

be not afraid to feel

For some intellectual weight-lifting, Malcolm Gladwell takes asks a few questions on exactly what Enron did wrong, and points out the difference between a puzzle and a mystery. Find it over at the New Yorker.

It it was personal weight-lifting I was looking for this new year, the past 2 weeks have provided a year's worth.
Allow me first to talk about this past conference in general. The first conference of one's career is, more often than not, quite moving. The scope of, understanding of, and alignment to the organization generally blow the hell up. You make a lot of friends, you learn a good deal. After that, somewhere in the 2nd to 4th conference, you go from giddy with awe at what we're doing, to truly in control. You control the destiny now. Don't let it out of your hands.
I've experienced that. I thought that ended the conference evolution of my mind. I was wrong.
This conference was not focused on the organization and how I relate to it, but on my life and how I relate to it. Given the circumstances I should have predicted that. I've never gone through as intense an internal experience as the four or five days when I was really blowing up inside. First and last thoughts of the day were on the task at hand. So was everything inbetween.

Many people express a desire to join the Madison LC. I usually chuckle and say "yeah... things are pretty cool here. We have a good group." I know that to be true. I encourage 'us' to maintain that.
This too, was different.
This time, I felt it. Like, Really Felt. Vivid memories provide clear examples of when it was happening. I'm no longer talking a little bullshit when I agree with aspirations to transfer to our homestead. Yea, you sure do want to transfer here and experience what 'we' 'are.' The support my partners in crime built put my head above the hazy clouds of my mind.

About 17 hours before my speech I began rewriting it. Another thing I should have foreseen. I usually don't write speeches, why did I do it more than a day before? Can't fool around I may have thought. Cat called shortly before and reminded me this was all fun and games. Brought me back to reality, the overall picture. It went OK, not my best, but it was from the heart. And that's what I wanted. Question and Answer was not the overall rigor I expected. I failed to gauge the audience to a detail I like, but later research showed solid resonance.
I have an interview sometime in the next 3 weeks. This is intense, but a few rays have shone through the clouds, reminding me that life is fun, that it was ok to laugh as I walked to the room for my speech. I'd have it no other way. Let this be like sledding down a hill, not climbing a mountain.

Paradoxical paradigm shift of underlying issues

I think there needs to be a shift in mentality from "creating tomorrow's leaders," or "creating future leaders" to "creating today's leaders" or "building leadership. Today."
This moves one from thinking about what I'll be able to do tomorrow to What I can do today. Become a presence in your dormitory or co-op. Stand for something on your baseball team. Bringing it to the present tense eclipses more of an Action. Now. mentality, eliminating the tomorrow excuse we all hold so dear. I think that is valuable.