Sent to meetings hypnotized

Toga Congress
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

The hilarity of today cannot be properly documented until I take a serious nap. I met up with Mohammed last night, the Egyptian going to my LC for Salaam. We hit it off quite well and inshallah he'll still be in Cairo when I get outta work. In any case I was up until after 4am and thus my head is extra difficult for my neck to hold. Simi arrives tomorrow. Or tonight, I'm not sure.
Documentation of my escapades at AXLDS were requested by Digs eons ago. Here is one piece of evidence. I swear it wasn't just a brat fest.

keep 'em coming

1644: Boss explains he wants me to do some research. I am to find the best way for him to import turkeys and ducks. He wants about 10,000 per month and they must be no more than one day old.
1645: "If you could help on that, it would be great." Work day ends.

Any help right around now would be great. Thanks a bunch. My tea is cold.

My poor karma is reflected

I saw Tom Petty three summers in a row. Then, last summer, he didn't come. Now this summer, my first summer away, he comes to Wisconsin twice.
Rockfest
Summerfest
I had made a proposition to The Dode about this.

Don't dare me to breathe

On the 28th day of the sixth month in the 2005th year, between the hours of 0000 and 0500, I puked after working out for the first time . Then I washed it down with some mango juice. There was one witness.

Here was this place where I climbed up near the cliff's edge

Burbs will be weeping in the corner. Don't mind the dry heaving.
Dylan teams up with the The Big Man.
Go here if you want to see why we've started a support group. In other news, who knew Tazo was affiliated with Starbucks?

For all yous little guys (physicists)

I've been following this story on and off for around a year. They are finally setting up an international fusion reactor in France. Japan will be host to many of the administrative and materials research positions. Fusion, as you may or may not know, is basically putting two hydrogen atoms together to form helium. It is the energy source that powers the sun. It produces little waste and emits no greenhouse gases. It is also what powers the hydrogen bomb. The reason it is so hard to wield (besides the scientific challenges) is the fact that you have to heat the plasma to about a hundred million degrees celcius and then come out with a net surplus of energy after the reaction. That's harder than a Madison Iron Man.
The US has been having problems finding the funding to support the project. The discrepency comes when debating whether our domestic program should be cut in order to fund this international effort. Tough call.
In any case, I would guess it will be at least 75 years until it becomes feasible to use fusion profitably. This is a great start to getting there.

Six Egyptian pounds for the first to find my townie reference.

The end of the rainbow is always a long ride

We watched The Message last night, which depicts the beginnings of Islam. Minor research reveals it is relatively factual, which is nice. It makes it blatant that Islam began as a very peaceful, love-filled religion. If the foundations were as straight forward as this makes it look, I can't imagine how some of the fundamental crazies can misinterpret the Quran so badly. The movie explicitly mentions several times a point about muslims living peacefully with Jews and Christians. It is an interesting can of worms that I'd like to look further into.

I've been living too comfortably, taking too few chances. That will change this weekend at the latest. I'm going to rejuice my camera, take a shot of courage, and jump on a microbus headed for freedom. I will get off at an unannounced time and explore whatever neighborhood I happen to be in. At some point I will retrieve something of sustenance, perhaps a shisha, and a water. More exploring along with another microbus ride may follow. At some point I hope to return home, hopefully before the moon is very high.

some need to pray to the sun at high noon
need to howl at the midwinter moon
reborn and baptized in a moment of grace..

Adventure awaits.

P.S. The Gates Foundation has rolled out some more.

Damn Shame

Hey, As some of you might know Mohammed will not be able to work for the YMCA. All the trouble with his visa made it too difficult for him toget here in time to begin work.
He still wants to come and we would love for him to be here. This is where I need some of your help. If you know of any company ornon-profit organization that might be interested in having someone workfor them just for a short while or any ideas of places for me tocontact-let me know ASAP! Give me a call or an e-mail and I can takeit from there.
I am looking into whatever I can to make it possible for Mohammed tocome to Madison. It would be a shame if Mohammed could not be here. Please help in whatever way you can.
I hope you are all having a great summer. Thanks, Kelly

All right for a limited way in an off night

My newest adventure is creating a document that basically explains every single process for dealing with a client. Considering I've put in a good 10 days with the company, this outta be interesting..

Musing

I have questioned how hard one should try to keep in touch with others when they themselves give little effort or none at all.

Bolton does Alexandria

Bolton - Alexandria
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Upon first reading This Fella's review of Alexandria, one might not be too impressed. However, he's about as trusty as using the bidet for mouthwash.
With a head count of right around five million, Alex initially feels like Smallville compared to Cairo, but after a little exploration you realize your intuitions... were correct. Everything here is a little more laid back. Take, for instance, the skull and cross bones that sat atop the door locks of my favorite taxi driver. Combine those with the aviators sitting on the dashboard and this guy's chillin harder than Walter on the Shabbos. The Mediterranean Sea is pretty tight. Want to propose? Bring your favorite bride down and serenade her with one of my classics. She'll be puppy eyed and claiming you had her at hello in no time.
I will have to say The Library was disappointing, slightly more so than...say... Marky Mark's attempt at a successful acting career. The architecture is cool, kinda, but the inside just feels so hollow and lacking any substance. The little fetus museums they had set up weren't that interesting either. I think they could do better. Logistics and my giant mane prevented my attendance for the Greco Roman Ruins and the Citadel, but as a concession I went to some aquatic museum. Only pictures will do justice, and they'll be posted in due time.
I look forward to returning to this city. I need some more time to pimp out at the beaches and have more of that delectable shisha and seafood. For its size, this city sure knows my style of maxin' and relaxin'.

Aight, I'm out.

Via The Bolton Wire.

12 more minutes

This criminal is totally sweet. I want to be James Bond.

For all those down under

Australia, taking the "it's after noon somewhere in the world" to the extreme.

I could burn this place down if I wanted to

"Mike, could you make it smaller so that it fits on one page?" (Egyptian accent)
"Yes..."
"If you could, it would be great."

I couldn't believe it when I heard it. It was impossible to give but a head-nod in acknowledgement and crawl away in defeat, nearly weeping. I almost forgot to grab my dignity off the floor on the way out. It's all fun and games until the Office Space jokes become real.
I had already received a similear request from another employee, to which I asked how small. I showed her an example and she said it was fine. I reiterated the question by asking if reducing the length of this bloody answer sheet to two pages from three was all she needed. She gave the affirmative. Approximately seven minutes after I finished resizing and reformatting the page, I received the second said request.
I mean cripes, should I throw a cover sheet on there and wrap it up with thirty damn pieces of flair?

Any and every decision made in this building has to go through the boss. It seems inefficient and uninspiring. I'm not even sure if some of the employees can make their own decisions. Is Boss capable of releasing a little power and letting a peon make a decision? I don't think an organization should be run this way.

Global Warming is not real

Repeating his arguments that "there is not a relationship between manmade gases and climate change" in a speech on the floor, Mr. Inhofe nonetheless praised the amendment for "coming up with an approach that is measured and reasonable and will help convince a lot of the people that are right now participating in this religion called global warming to realize that maybe this is something that we shouldn't have to suffer economically for." (NYTIMES)

I suppose it is a step in the right direction, but I won't cheers it. It's amazing how long it has taken to move toward action. "Voluntary reductions" doesn't impress me.

The true nomad

Michael Bolton - Cairo
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

I'm heading to Alexandria tonight for a little beach action and perhaps some sight seeing.
Whenever I'm at work I feel like I'm living in Office Space. Hence the titles.

I've realized I am the host of a new virus, a phenomenon if you will. It took me a while to realize, but it is blowing up like the Money Shot all over my once gloriously virgin face. Everywhere I go, it goes. I laugh, it laughs. I cry, it cries. Up and down, left and right, here and there, whence and hence and heretofore. I am the host of the true nomad, the adventurer, the ranger, the scout... the Michael Bolton Phenomenon (MBP).
You'll remember this as the day Michael Bolton began Doing the World. Several merchants think my name is Michael Bolton. My Michael Boltonness must be high on the meter. What a shitty website.

Old man take a look at my life

Cairo Coptic Church
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

A memo to a higher office
An open letter to the powers that be
To a god, a king, a head of state, a captain of industry
To the movers and the shakers...

This is a question of religion.
I was not brought up in a religious household. This is not to say I was not religious on my own. I've been to several churches and attended a youth group for quite some time. I also read the Children's Bible before bed for a stint.
Religion is a peculiar thing. It is close to the most powerful force on Earth in terms of mass movements. We have fish fries because Catholics can't eat "meat" on Fridays. Christmas marks the big break in school for me, Ramadan shifts schedules in the East. Then you have the mormons going on their missions, other sects sending mission groups to all edges of the planet to do good (spread?) in the name of God. There's a lot of good that comes from these institutions. The coin has two sides though, and there has been a lot of F'ed up stuff coming out of these rented bodies of God. The Crusades, West Bank, Jihad, etc all have come from people looking for a ticket to the heavenly estate. You have the recent molestation scandal going on in the church State side, which is pretty scary. What would happen if the US government had that many cases of treason going? There would be a serious shake-up. Top church officials preaching "love thy neighbor" and look what they're doing. I guess what scares me about religion in general is the fact that so many people have never questioned their faith. They've been going to church since they can remember and are never given the opportunity to explore other forms of spirituality, or they don't care. It sometimes reminds me of brainwashing. It's a big bummer when a leader of a church comdems someone for exploring other options.
The history of western religion and religious thought is another avenue altogether. Perhaps I'll go down memory lane another day.

With that said, it makes no difference to me what religion someone is and I respect their value of it. I did a lot of searching and found some fish and a shisha. In no way am I an expert. I still have a lot of learning to do and perhaps someday my thoughts will change. For me a lot of it comes down to a big scheme to keep people healthy, happy, and acting in a noble way. I can do that on my own.

a bid adieu

chris, mix, rikesh
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Yesterday marked the end of Bowman's reign of terror in Cairo. The eve of his departure held a somber mood, but we tried to make the best of it. We visited Khan el Khalili where I did my first mildly respectable bargaining and got him two pillow thingies, hit up a "man's shisha" beforehand, and then finished the evening with a game of tukru seasoned with a pinch of whiskey on the rocks. It was real great finally getting to hang out for more than 2 days at a time, something I've wanted to do for quite some time. And so, henceforth I trudge in his name. Good luck at GW, godspeed, safe journey, damn the man don't get caught with your pants down fuck the police.

I wouldn't say I'm missing it, Bob

It is 3:40pm. I think the office has put in a collective 60 minutes of real work today, about 45 of which is mine... only because I had to.
Susan likes riddles and IQ test type questions so I presented this one to her. She is working on it now.
We finish work at 4:45pm.

Reference

Apparently a seemingly conservative Egyptian society releases any sexual tension through their cars as they have an intricate system of car-to-car communication. (Leah)

Polish Dancing

Polish Dancing
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

What is the best way to get to Turkey from Cairo? I am thinking of going there early January.

The no talent ass clown

Faluka deliciousness
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

This morning I found out that even if you turn the Michael Bolton shirt inside out, he is still looking at you. I would have shat my trousers had his giant forehead not blinded me.

Susan taught me two more phrases and the numbers one through ten. She likes to take IQ tests. I am going to find her some questions.

girl before the mirror, checks her camouflage

We are having a workshop in the near future and will be administering an english test. It is 80 questions making it 17 pages long. It is mostly vocab and structure. Guess who gets to make the answer key and grade all the tests?

As it would be, I guess some people take the whole "nose getting blown off" thing kind of seriously. The Statue of Liberty has a twin, it is here in Egypt.
What would you do if the Statue of Liberty got its nose blown off?

here's a question

Cairo Sunset
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

It took me a surprisingly long time to realize this, but I never eat with the girls at lunch. Now, considering this place is basically all girls, this means I eat alone in our 5X5 "kitchen." They eat in our conference rooms which has nice couches and windows. My room has a sink and a chair that is one foot off the ground. It doesn't just sort of happen this way, either. They actually physically take my food out of the bag and put it in our glorious kitchen. I don't want to jump to conlusions or anything, but I'm a little curious.

POS

AUC grade party
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

I can't believe how many people drink Lipton's Tea around here. It is definitely the most popular tea my feable mind has seen so far... until today.
Our office used to be part of the lipton's only club, but now we got this rocking green tea that i can't stop drinkin. Before I abstained as a form of protest against The Man. Now What do I do?
I SUCK IT DOWN!

This is a skewed picture of the AUC grad party.

that proverbial moment of fear

some monument or something
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

It's like when you are sittin on the cammode in a bathroom stall. There you are just trying to take care of business and...

i'll finish this later

Once I held a fund raising drinking competition called Milk-Aid

Perhaps that reminds you of the reknowned Live Aid? It's coming around again, titled Live 8 and is right during the G8 Summit. July 2nd there will be concerts around the world. Webcasts are available. Pink Floyd will be reunited. This makes me question the absence of a performance in Cairo.

A short lesson

The Sphinxter
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Egyptian Arabic is not the language to master if cursing is your ultimate goal. About the furthest you can take it is disrespecting "your mom," which I conquered in about ninth grade.
Hindi, I'm told, is where the real business is. Moms, grandpas, uncles, cousins once removed... they're all fair game and supremely offensive. Then you toss in the inflections and ohh man, your noble vernacular becomes downright rich.

The Sphinx was erected as a symbol of protection from the looters of the pyramids of giza, of which there were nine. When Napoleon came to Egypt, he wanted to take it to the house on the half lion half man thingy as a showing of might. The big guy still stands, sans his nose, which he didn't need anyway.

Is there something in my teeth?

AcapellaFella
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Maxin' and Relaxin'

Faluka 5am
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

This is why I let Kaitlin take my pictures.
I'm driving the boat... and sucking at it.

Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?

Across from AAST
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Perhaps.
Washing machine is awful small.

Tukru

Happy Birthday
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

I still say it is Tuku.

Not bad.

Sunset over cairo
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Titilating.

my fingers are burning

I'm going to make a Ron Diaz themed rendering of the front page.
Condi Rice is speaking at the American University of Cairo today. There is going to be a protest. Last night I met two people who will participate. As I sat in the house I had a mild mafia-esque sensation. The man behind the desk spoke little English in conversation, but when the guitar started strumming, out came perfect inflections and melodies in the words of "the times they are a-changin' followed by a strawberry flavored Beatles tune.
The others spoke in combinations of English and Arabic. Arabish.

Heatin it up while we're breaking it down

The AUC grad party showed the rarely mentioned side of things. It was obvious they didn't read our manual crafted by the Doctor.
I rode a camel around the pyramids. It was surprisingly entertaining. We also saw coptic cairo. Upon entering the area I felt like I had stepped back a couple hundred (or more) years. Our tour guide couldn't speak and so we played gestures and scharades at each special spot.
It was Andre's birthday on Thursday and Bowman's is today, so we had a party for them this past friday. Hilarity ensued. I took a faluka with several others at about 4:30am. Sliding down the Nile, with the sun rising and wind blowing in your hair, you realize you are one of the luckiest in the world. I think the mild drunkeness added to it.
All the honking on the street still gets to me. I can't even imagine what a ninja would do to this town. Every time he walks in I say in my head "hey office bitch" and then chuckle silently.
Allegedly I am getting tofu tonight. I'll think of something cultural.
Happy Father's Day

May your hands always be busy, your feet always be swift when the winds of change hit

Dolphin Energy’s Dolphin Gas Project is the largest single energy initiative to be undertaken in the Middle East.
Dolphin gas will be a unique source of clean, new energy for the Southern Gulf. Through its supply of natural gas from Qatar, it will also bring together three GCC nations – the UAE, Qatar and Oman – in a regional energy network for the very first time.
Above all, Dolphin Energy will support the development of substantial, long-term new industries throughout the region – creating wealth, economic growth and employment opportunities for citizens of the region far into the future. (Dolphin Energy Vision)

This is the client I will be working on for my company. It is the first time working with them, and they have requested over 150 employees from us.

Bummer
Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh...
because I'm a big pussy... which is why I work at Initech to begin with

?

For the past 21 years, I've spend most of my waking hours asking myself "What the hell am I doing here?"
I have a proposition for jlovegren, perhaps more. Resentmet is mandatory, restlessness and disillusion also preferred. Gangs involved.
My tea is cold, but Egypt is pretty hott. You can cross Fishawy's off the list.

for all you pussies:
losing love is like a window to your heart
everyone can see you're blown apart
everyone can feel the wind blow
in Graceland

It's all about the moment

21st birthday - Oshkosh
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

This is why I will always return home, albeit occasionally.
At some point I should upload some photos from my current residence.

hold your fire and stick to your guns

She told me the beans were really quite swell. In a moment of dillusion I succumbed and traded a filafel for a bean. My second mistake was only ordering two. I should have known by the grand total of one Egyptian pound. Next time I will get a minimum of four filafel.
Well, I guess I have to finish sorting emails.

Maxin' and Relaxin'

Omar, me, Betsy
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Nice Fumanchu. This was my last evening in New York. There will be a triumphant return.

once twice three times a lady

My workplace is mostly girls. All but one are veiled. They take care of me.
I'm wondering if any of them are married or dating (secretly or otherwise). Some people would see that as an impediment. This place needs a serious IT overhaul.
I am closing my second day of work. Yesterday I sorted emails all day. They have 8 inboxes and I only made it through two of them after roughly six hours. Today I received two company requests that I will fill perhaps tomorrow.
I guess I should explain my employment situation. Maybe later, insha allah.

P.S.

No Tornado's yet. I heard its quality has fallen a bit.

WWRD _ _ Ron Diaz

A mild suprise is all I have for the constant questioning of my "well being" or tiredness. Foolishness will soon be realized.
In Egypt, no word is final. You can do anything if you erect the correct facade or throw down the right number of large valued papers.
In order to not daydream or wander and wonder, I must find some sort of unsensible value in putting forth my energy. My company could have been started by an alumni, perhaps with slightly different aims.
A legion of feline friends protect the entrance to my humble existence. I sit and await the sirens indicating the first of the bombs. I pull my blanket closer about me, but squirm when my neck perspires. I think I am finding the right allies.
When's the next power hour?

let us bungle in the jungle

My stomach has hit a light amount of culture shock this day, but is fighting hard. I ate a fish sandwich yesterday (meat on a sandwich!) and thought it was going to end me. Thus i resorted to drinking two bottles of tap water to dilute it. It is all psychological.
So far I have hit many cafes and sailed the Nile. My employment starts tomorrow.
I apologize to everyone who called me a bitch, business and a few bumps in the road got the best of my time. I have several initial impressions. Tomorrow I will go to an internet cafe.
I live with a greek girl and a portuguese guy. I am becoming good friends with a brazilian and had a good conversation with a sudanese guy. The Egyptians are quite swell. Egyptian girls can be quite cute.
Let me not forget my stopover in Madrid. The city didnt impress me that, but my old dorm roommate who is finishing his study abroad stay there did impress me. His time there has changed him quite a bit... he definitely has the travel bug among the other changes. It was most enjoyable to walk around the city center with him and catch up. Maybe he will even warm up to getting a blog. My portuguese roommate will be getting one.

Livin it up

At The Groove
Originally uploaded by Mix Master.

Muchas Gracias to Andreea for taking me out and showing me a good time. We tried to do the linked arm drinking thing, but there were distractions. Between her and Omar, I certainly got a good taste of the nightlife.

Egypt Navidad

Rounding up this leg of the trip and gearing up for the Real Deal.
Egypt is the third country (Canada doesn't count) I will have visited in my life. I will be there for about 6 months. Perhaps I will return, but more likely I will not.

You know, in the cardinal sense.

When we hold each other, we hold each other down

NYC ain't bad.

Matched

Monday, June 6, 2005
Depart:
New York, NY @ 6:00 PMJohn F Kennedy Intl (JFK)
Arrive:
Madrid, ES @ 7:10 AMBarajas (MAD)Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Iberia Flight 6250Nonstop
<<>>
Depart:
Madrid, ES @ 5:30 PMBarajas (MAD)Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Arrive:
Cairo, EG @ 12:25 AMInternational (CAI)Wednesday, June 8, 2005


Anybody know anyone in Madrid? I gots 10 hours there. That's around fifty hours of travel... nice.
Time to check out this city.

skype handle

gigapoop

NYC Navidad

What should I check out while here in New York? It must be super cheap and super cool. You know all the good places never have signs out front...